Nursing at 14.5 Months

No matter which direction my nursing relationship takes from here, I just have to keep telling myself that I will have nursed Eleanor for at least 15 months, and that is AWESOME. 

You did it, me.  Good job.  Whatever happens from here, you did that and it's a FACT. BabyCenter awarded you the "platinum boobs".  That means you've really made it.

It's not that I want breastfeeding to end.  I feel guilty sometimes, though, for wanting my body to be just a bit more my own.  Sometimes when I realize that we are dropping feedings, I think that it is more than OK. But then the next day I panic thinking that I am one step closer to the final nursing session EVER with Eleanor!!  Got to recommit, refocus.

Mostly, though, I think that the fact that I am pumping less and less at work each day is OK.  I can still feed Ellie in the mornings and at night, and when she needs comforting.  I could keep that up for a long, long time.  Eleanor isn't as interested, so I know I shouldn't feel guilty.  She is feeling independent these days, and that's a good thing!  I know that I'm just hanging on to the last vestiges of my little newborn.  But Eleanor brings me new joy every day.  I love you so much, my little boo!!!

Breastfeeding my little toothless baby!

Still breastfeeding my toothy big girl who eats everything!

No Finer Place For Sure

Go downtown...

Things will be great when you're downtown...

No finer place for sure :)

Downtown - everything's waiting for you!

Such are the lyrics for Petula Clark's famous song, "Downtown"... and I couldn't agree with her more (which is why I took the creative liberty of adding a smiley face to her lyrics. I think Petula would be a-okay with it.).

Matt and I recently moved to a new apartment in downtown Raleigh, and we are loving it so far. When we first moved to North Carolina, we lived in an apartment in a shopping/dining complex called North Hills, about a 10-15 minute drive to downtown. It was fine enough - we lived above a large grocery store (SO AWESOME) and were just a few minute stroll away from shops, restaurants, Target, a movie theater, you name it. It was pretty dang convenient, but just wasn't for me. It felt too... mall-like... too grown-up... too suburban. I missed DC, and I wanted a more DC-feel. (And let's not even get into our neighbor who snored like a freakin' rhinosaurus. We heard him through the walls and I got very good at startling him awake by pounding on the wall, which shut him up for a few precious minutes of silence.)

So, as soon as our lease was up, we snatched up a condo in a downtown district called Glenwood South. It wasn't exactly where I wanted to live (I was hoping to find a place in the center of downtown -- Glenwood South is about a 10 minute walk away), but it was my second choice, and it's great. Sure, we now have to drive a few minutes to a grocery store, but we can also walk to our favorite downtown bars and restaurants. (A fact about me: going out for food and drinks is pretty much my favorite thing to do in the world. It's where all of my money goes. So a home's proximity to places for me to get said food and drinks is IMPORTANT to me.)

We've been slowly settling in, unpacking, and getting used to having ZERO CABINET SPACE (Breath, Emily, breath). I'll post a before-and-after apartment tour when I'm all done putting the finishing touches on everything. Last weekend was a three-day weekend, so we got to explore new spots both in Glenwood South and in the heart of downtown -- all by walking. LOVE IT! Here's a quick recap of where we tried over the weekend:

Flying Saucer noms

--The Flying Saucer: fun place with over 100 beers on tap and lots of great outdoor seating (was too cold to take advantage of that though!). Had a delicious local IPA, the softest jumbo pretzels with spicy mustard and queso dipping sauce, a bratwurst with mustard, chips and queso (we really liked the queso, okay), and an “Around the World” beer tasting flight (who knew that beer from England and Scotland were so gross and watery? NOWWW YOU KNOWWW.) About a 5 minute walk away.

--Cupcake Shoppe: we stopped here on the way home from the Flying Saucer. DELICIOUS CUPCAKES! Excellent buttercream, which is of course is all that matters. Great brownies, too. Literally a block away from our apartment, next to a great wine shop (free wine tastings) and a cute boutique I’ve been meaning to explore.

Fried goodness at Big Ed's

--Big Ed’s: my dad sent me an article about this when I first moved to Raleigh -- apparently it was featured on the Food Network for having one of the best Southern breakfasts around. We went on our Monday off, and there was no wait at all. Apparently on Sundays, people line up around the block to get in! Big Ed’s is located in the heart of downtown (in a pedestrian square called City Market), and it was the first time Matt and I walked there from Glenwood South. It was a gorgeous days in the high 50s, and the walk was super easy and lovely. The restaurant itself is very cute and old school, with checkered tablecloths, old memorabilia hanging from the ceiling, and a VERY Southern menu. I got the Cajun fried chicken, two fried eggs, home fries, and biscuits. (Matt got the French toast, AS USUAL). My breakfast may seem simple, by it was surprisingly delicious. The biscuits were buttery, salty, and soft, the chicken was perfectly spiced, the eggs were cooked to perfection (for some reason, I have horrible luck with eggs... they are always undercooked with oozy egg whites), and the potatoes were awesome (so awesome in fact that MATT KEPT STEALING THEM).

Outside of Yellow Dog (see? lovely day!)

--Yellow Dog Bakery: this is located in an upcoming part of town called the Historic Oakwood district. One of my best friends from work just moved to this neighborhood - a cute residential area with beautiful old houses but lacking in dining/shopping options. It’s steadily growing, and now has several fun bakeries, a popular restaurant called The Station (I actually went there with said friend on a double date, and we absolutely loved our meals and the creative drinks they serve at the bar), and a wine shop. Matt and I strolled over here after our meal at Big Ed’s because I really wanted to try this pie shop called Pie Bird (serving savory and sweet pies). Unfortunately, they were closed - but I still wanted dessert. Yellow Dog Bakery it was! A cute, sunny cafe with plenty of tables, lots of freshly baked bread, and a few dessert options. I actually went for a chocolate chip croissant, which was great. We ate outside because it was so sunny and warm out and then strolled home.

--The Rockford: right down the block from our new place, and easy to miss because it’s on the second floor of a building. I didn’t even know it was there until several different coworkers raved to me about it and told me how jealous they were that I lived right near it! Apparently it’s been there forever. Cool place, hipstery bartenders, lots of sandwiches and salads (their signature sandwich is an “ABC” grilled cheese - apple, bacon, cheese), and good specials. Matt and I both got the bison burger and a salad. The sides were a bit strange to me (they change daily) - you could pick between two bean salad, green beans, pineapple, or several other sides. No french fries! 

I am also ECSTATIC that we are now within walking distance from two of my favorite pizza places: Mellow Mushroom (I had a slight obsession with it while living in DC, and now I can go WHENEVER I WANT!) and Trophy Brewing. Trophy is an awesome place that only serves pizza, salads, cheese/meat plates, and a great selection of beers. I’ve been there a bunch with coworkers - it’s one of our favorite places to go for drinks and eats after work. Pizzas are all amazing and creative, ranging from those piled high with veggies (“The Farmer’s Market”) to those topped with all kinds of meats and sausages. We also live a block away from my favorite bar in all of Raleigh: C Grace. A total speakeasy joint, easy to walk by (it’s in the basement), and contains room after room of lush, Victorian rooms seating areas with velvet curtains, old-fashioned couches, chairs, and lamps, and multiple bars. The cocktails are delicious and well-made, and the bartenders are great at giving drink suggestions. It is, as expected, expensive, but fun to enjoy a yummy drink while lounging on a soft velvet couch! Matt and I usually go there early before it gets crowded so we can enjoy a room all to ourselves! It reminds me a bit of the Gibson, but you don’t need reservations and it’s larger. Live jazz several days a week.

Okay, well I just rambled about restaurants for about an hour - but like I said, it’s my favorite thing to do AND talk about! I look forward to exploring Raleigh even more - and I’ll try not to write novels about each and every restaurant I try... just the best ones :) 

A Kowalski Blog

Hello! I am Emily, Katie's twin -- I mean, younger sister.

Katie and I are basically the same person - or as Katie wittily said in her amazing wedding (maid-of-honor) speech, we are clones. When we are together, we finish each other's sentences and are often found CRUMBLING ONTO THE FLOOR in fits of giggles and guffaws (usually over a silly inside joke or merely a glance at one another). We also look quite similar (often wearing the same outfit by chance) and have been mistaken for twins MANY times. We like a lot of the same things -- beer, going out to eat, being with Ellie, laughing, bundt cake, TV shows like Strangers with Candy, laying on a picnic blanket and smiling at dogs in baby carriages -- and just are the best of frands.

But -- what do we think about and do when we are apart? Unfortunately, we are apart quite often (last February, I moved from D.C. to Raleigh, N.C. to be with my then-fiance and now-husband). It's been hard not being a few blocks away from Katie and Ellie, but hopefully this shared blog will help us remain close and get a better sense about what we're doing in our lives throughout the year.

Possible blog topics might be...

- Visit recaps (I try to visit D.C. every couple of months, and I'm hoping KATIE WILL VISIT ME SOON *hint hint*)

- New recipe, restaurant, or drink reviews

- ELLIE POSTS!

- Day-to-day activities

- Travels

- Holidays

- Etc.

I am so excited to join this blog and get writing again! I'll leave yo
u with a few photos.

Laughing at my bridal shower Katie threw for me

Doing our famous pose at my wedding

Quote from The Men We Reaped

Whoa.

"We saw the lightning and that was the guns and then
we heard the thunder and that was the big guns;
and then we heard the rain falling and that was the blood falling;
and when we came to get in the crops it was dead men that we reaped."

- Harriet Tubman

A Visit from GRAN

This past weekend, we were all graced by the arrival of GRAN aka MOM aka SUE KOWALSKI on  Friday afternoon (Jan 10).  Eleanor was slightly hesitant, but clearly remembered her grandmother from our visit to Chicago in early December, and soon her excitement bubbled over.  She rolled all over the floor, twirled across the room, and demonstrated her new Sesame Street kitchen.  Gran got out a big bag of awesome books for both of us that she had lugged across the airport (Eleanor's favorites = Peek-a-Moo and a Richard Scarry book.  Note:  Eleanor's friend Alethea has already chewed up Peek-a-Moo.)  She brought The Bleeding Edge, The Circle, and The Men We Reaped for me (woo hoo!!).  After lots of playing, we ordered a bunch of thai food and pumpkin empanadas, and everyone chowed down on the flaky goodness (especially Eleanor, who ate two empanadas).  I tried to give Gran some of my boxed wine, but she rejected it RUDELY.

The rain continued the next day, and so we spent our time playing inside.  Eleanor got very attached to my mom throughout the day, which was adorable.  We gave her a bath before her afternoon nap and the boo fell right to sleep.  This gave my mom a chance to indulge in one of her favorite foods - the sweetgreen salad.  THANK YOU Moo for braving the pouring rain to get all of us salads!  I made sure to balance out the health with a pan of vanilla shortbread (demolished in less than 24 hours).

We headed out to an early dinner at Ghibellina, my new favorite restaurant (delicious food, EXTREMELY accommodating of Eleanor, remember us from only being there once, awesome staff...yeah).  They finagled some unorthodox way to seat us, because they actually had no tables for four.  We had a lovely dinner, and the Chef was apparently watching Eleanor all night and asked our waitress to inquire about her age.  He later sent her out a special dessert, laughing as she housed it (she would not give me a bite).  WHAT A NICE GUY!!  Love you, Ghibellina.

Since my mom was so horrified by my box of wine, we headed over to Whole Foods after dinner to pick up something she would allow past her lips. We selected our tried and true oaked Chardonnay - Kowalski staple Rombauer. I drank a 10 oz glass and lamented how horrible I am at long-distance friendships.  Long distance friendships make me a bad person, it seems. GAH. The wine was delicious and I love my mom.

On Sunday, the clouds finally parted, and we took Eleanor for a long walk (one of our favorite past times). After returning home and pocketing the rest of the shortbread, Gran/Mom/Suey had to head to the airport.  We miss her, but are looking forward to another visit soon! (Maybe with Auntie Em??)

Dear Eleanor at 13 (almost 14) months

Dear Eleanor,

You are just so so so much fun.  I can't help but smile whenever I think of you these days!  The way you greet everyone with a big "HIIIIiiii" and the Tony Soprano "Oh!".  The way you are ALWAYS grinning and literally SCREAMING with pure joy, eyes closed and head thrown back, just laughing your head off.  Watching you teeter around is the cutest.  Your walking is improving each day, and now I think it is your preferred mode of transportation.  Time to get you some shoes!

Your favorite foods seem to be pretzel sticks, chicken/meat in general, anything with lots of FLAVOR, sweet potatoes, salmon, and fruits like grapes and clementines.  Oh and I can't forget the PBJs.  You are a great eater, and hopefully you continue to love good food.

Your love to play with your Sesame Street kitchen and you still love pushing around your walker.  Nothing can top pushing the buttons on the DVD player, speaker, XBOX, cable box, and Wii, though, as your favorite past time.

Your hair is a crazy curly mullet and I love it.  I have not given you a haircut yet!  You still have six teeth, but one more on the bottom is about to come in.

I am so proud of your confidence and your love of other people.  You have complete trust that everyone just loves you and that you are THE BEST!  You have scared two other little babies with your aggressive love (I am kind of proud of this, too).  On our plane rides, you would stand up on your seat and say "HIIIiii" to all of the people sitting around us - especially the little baby on the way to Florida!  You are a joy to me always.

I try to only focus on all of the wonderful (frequently new) things that you do and learn daily, and do my best to keep the sad thoughts away.  The thoughts of your babyhood almost coming to an end, and your toddlerhood gearing up in full force!  I will ALWAYS love just snuggling with you and taking care of you.  I could never have enough of you napping in my arms.  As of now, you still humor me with this.  Every night, before bed, I spend as much time as possible with you laying on my chest, resting your little head on me and talking to me with your sweet coos.

There is so much more fun to come, though!  You are giving me laugh lines because you make me smile soooo much.

Love,
Mama

Diseases that scare me

I just wanted to share a list of my irrational disease fears here, mostly for the sake of posterity.  Hopefully, I will look back on this one day and laugh...HA HA HA HA.

- Hepatitis C - More common than we know, as most people go years and years without discovering that they have it.  No standard testing for it, hard to cure, no vaccine.  Lives in even dried blood for days.

- HTLV-1 - I really think this is going to be the next HIV epidemic.  Anti-retrovirals don't even work to cure it, and if it progresses to any complications there is no stopping it.  And it's not at all common to test for, unless you donate blood, but they might not even notify you if they find it.  FUCK.

- HIV - I don't think I need to comment on this one.

- MERS - Deadlier (seemingly) cousin of SARS, except they know very little about it even though the first case was discovered 3 years ago!!!

- Naeglia fowleri - Brain eating amoeba.  So rare, but so horrible and deadly that I am still afraid of it and think of it whenever I am around a fresh water source.  Ugh.  Even bath water is a little scary because the amoeba has been detected in municipal water sources. WTF.

- Bubonic Plague - THIS IS STILL AROUND and there have been cases recently in the U.S. (although very few).  I should learn more about it, maybe I will be more scared then.  I actually don't think about this one too much at all.

- Anthrax - the spores live for 10,000 years and they are everywhere in the soil.  A few cows IN THE FOOD SYSTEM get sick with this each year in the United States, but it usually doesn't get past meat processing.  But imported wool, bonemeal, etc, could be from sick animals and can be infective if not treated properly.  Death rate is VERY high if inhaled and not treated immediately (footnote - you'd need to inhale a lot of it to develop infection, so it's highly unlikely and that is comforting)

- Mosquito-borne infections - Dengue, St. Louis Encephalitis, West Nile, all that shit.  FUCK YOU, MOSQUITOES.

And let's just add bed bugs to the list.

My sympathetic pregnancy with Sarah

So, we've all heard of "sympathetic pregnancy," a phrase that generally refers to a man (usually the preggo's partner/father o'the child) experiencing certain pregnancy symptoms alongside his pregnant LADAY.  This is because spending so much time with her/near her exposes him to the crazy pregnancy hormones that float around her gravid uterus, compelling him to eat more and actually altering his hormones.  He might gain weight, become moody, tired, get nauseous (I don't know?).  Well, I am starting to think that I am getting the brunt of Sarah's hormones here.  I would argue that I spend just as much time in close proximity to her as her husband, and I am hungry and having phantom round ligament pain.  I'm hitting the bread bowls, pbj's, and holiday baked goods pretty hard.  Curses!!

Sarah is about 24 weeks along now with her second boy.  I think she is actually having fewer pregnancy symptoms than me, or is at least dealing with them extremely well.   She is eating VERY healthy - salads for lunch, not too many sweets.  The glucose test is coming up soon, and I think she will pass with flying colors.

Second pregnancies really are just less of a "thing" for everyone involved.  Although, she is already starting to fret a bit about the birth, because we both know girls our age who have DIED OF BIRTH COMPLICATIONS RECENTLY.  So shocking and scary.  But also freak occurrences.

Everything is going great except she is making me fat.  Thank a lot, Sarah!! ;)